House of Belonging Read online

  It was quiet for a moment before Logan spoke. “I’d do it for you. Help, I mean. Consider being your donor if you still need one.”

  Wyatt choked on his beer before regaining his composure. “Sure, Logan, why the hell not? I mean, you gave Willow half of your liver, for crying out loud. I’m starting to feel pretty selfish about not pulling my weight in this group. What about you, Garrett?”

  Garrett was looking at his brother-in-law in awe. “Honestly, bro, that is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard. I know how you’ve personally struggled with the idea of parenthood because of your own upbringing, so for you to offer to help Sienna and Viv . . . well, that’s just incredible.” Garrett stood up and bear-hugged Logan, bringing Willow to tears.

  Logan had spoken from his heart before he’d thought about the consequences. Occupational hazard of having been a Ranger. Rangers were fixers by nature, and some things would never change. He couldn’t imagine what Laina must be thinking, and it wasn’t clear from the expression on her face. She was watching Vivian’s and Sienna’s reactions, who were staring at Logan in complete shock. Sienna had tears streaming down her face as she stood up next to Vivian, who was taking the news a little more stoically.

  “Logan, you should really think about this. Obviously, we are so grateful that your instinct is to help us. You have no idea how far that goes in making us feel hopeful again, even if you decide it’s not the right choice for you after giving it some more thought. But please, take time to really consider the big picture. It’s a huge decision, and we should all sit down together to talk about how it would look in real life, and what our expectations would be of each other.”

  Vivian was the practical partner, but Sienna was overcome with emotion. She couldn’t speak, walking over to embrace Logan in gratitude.

  “I don’t know how to thank you, Logan. I had a feeling about you—your energy when you were in my class; your light was bright. But I see now that I completely underestimated you. You’re an earth angel. Regardless of what happens, you must know how grateful we are for the hope you’ve given us that there are still good people left in the world.”

  Laina felt like she was intruding on a personal moment. She stood and began rounding up the dishes while the rest of the group talked some more. She stashed the nonperishables in the back of Logan’s truck and secured the trash and leftover food in the bear box located a few dozen yards from camp before slipping unnoticed down the path toward the lake.

  Everyone was exhausted at that point, so they said good night and adjourned to their respective tents to enjoy the luxurious beds and candlelight that awaited them. Logan looked around for Laina but didn’t see her. Her tent was still dark, and he didn’t think she’d have chosen to go to sleep that early. Curious, he decided to take a walk down to the lake to look for her. She’d mentioned wanting to take a swim while they’d been clinging to the canoe that afternoon.

  As he made his way through the darkness, he couldn’t help but wonder what Laina thought about his offer to Viv and Sienna. Would it be a deal breaker for her? He’d spoken up without hesitation, but even now, as he ran the idea through his mind, he couldn’t come up with a reason not to do it. What if Laina has some objection? He hadn’t considered her reaction, and he hoped that wasn’t a mistake.

  Stepping into the clearing at the beach, he didn’t spot her right away. The moon was still just a sliver, and it drifted in and out of the clouds that had persisted all evening, thickening dramatically over the past hour. When his eyes adjusted, he noticed the wake that rippled back across the surface of the mist-covered lake, fanning out toward where he stood on the shore, a few yards from where Laina lay on her back out in the water. She was using her arms in a gentle back-and-forth motion to keep herself afloat.

  He watched, mesmerized by her serpentine movements as she alternated between floating and swimming, her creamy skin peeking above the surface from time to time. Finally, she swam back in his direction, turning away at the last minute to stand and gaze out across the lake. She leaned her head back to look up at the sky as her fingers trailed lazily across the top of the water. Logan was fixated on her, contemplating his next move when he heard her voice.

  “Are you just going to stand there, or are you coming in? It feels amazing, but you’d better get moving if you want to swim before the storm rolls in.”

  Laina stood and glanced over her shoulder, waist-deep in the water. He could see now that she was wearing a small black bikini, showing off the efforts of her yoga practice.

  He didn’t have to consider the offer for long. Kicking off his shoes, he reached down to unbutton his jeans and slipped them off in a hurry, revealing his black boxer briefs underneath. He yanked the sweater over his head, dropping it onto the heap of his other discarded clothing as he strode with purpose down into the chilly water next to her.

  When he got there, Logan stood beside her, looking up at the clouds that were swirling around the moon, doing their best to eclipse it. He wasn’t sure what to say. So he waited for her to take the lead.

  “You amaze me, you know?” Laina was still looking up at the sky as she spoke, even though she could feel Logan’s eyes on her.

  “Is there anything you wouldn’t do to help others? I know you’ll try to tell me that it’s what you were trained to do as a Ranger. I’ve heard you say that in reference to the situation with Willow. But this is different. These women aren’t your family, and you didn’t even hesitate to offer to help them.” She looked at him now, trailing her hands in lazy circles on top of the water. “Why? And be honest with me. Why would a man who is uncertain about fatherhood himself be so ready and willing to help someone else he barely knows have a child?”

  Logan studied her face in the darkness before answering. “I never said that I don’t want a family of my own. I just wouldn’t want any child to grow up in the kind of household I did. You have to understand. The way I was raised . . . it wasn’t a happy home. I’m not one to blame my issues on my mother, but I kind of feel like she’d have been better off without me to worry about. Not everyone is fit to be a parent. So yes, sometimes I doubt myself. Wonder if I would be a decent father. But Sienna and Viv? The way they talked about what they were willing to go through to have a kid? It just resonated with me. I go by feel. In my life, if I feel it, I jump in with both feet.”

  He turned to face her now, stepping closer, lessening the void between them. “Like this. I’m feeling this. But I promised you I’d wait, and I will, if that’s still what you want.”

  Logan could see the breath rise and fall in her chest, shallow and fast as he stepped closer still. They were almost touching now, but Logan commanded his hands to remain at his sides, no matter what. Van’s words rang in his ears. Let her take the lead.

  “Kiss me.” It was only a whisper, but Laina’s gentle request was all Logan needed to hear.

  He cradled her face in his hands, bridging the final gap between them. With his body pressed against hers, he met Laina’s lips with his own. He felt her gasp as he swiped at her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. He could tell that it had ignited something in her, and suddenly they were one, a tangle of slippery wet limbs, their hands working in an attempt to pull each other closer. It was a good old-fashioned high school make-out session, and they couldn’t get enough of each other. When Logan felt like he might never be able to draw a deep breath again, he reluctantly broke the kiss, trailing his mouth along her jawline to nip and suck on the side of her neck.

  Dear Lord.

  Logan knew a part of him that had been dormant for so long was awakened by her, and he could feel his whole body pulsing. That’s when the thunder rolled.

  Literally.

  Logan couldn’t believe it. There’d been a storm raging all right, but it wasn’t the one in the heavens he was enraptured by. It took every ounce of any willpower he had to take Laina’s hand to lead her out of the lake before the lightning started.

  “We should probably grab our clothes and h
ead back to camp.” The words were barely out of his mouth when the skies opened up and the rains poured down. They snatched their clothes and shoes from the beach, running hand in hand through the woods. The fire had almost died, and the final few remnants hissed back at the extinguishing power of the storm. Logan paused to say good night to her while she unzipped her tent, but she surprised him by pulling him in after her.

  It was dark inside, but the lightning periodically flashed, illuminating the space through the canvas long enough for Laina to locate two towels stacked next to her featherbed. She took one for herself and handed the other to Logan. He gave himself a quick once-over, raising the towel to his head to scrub the water out of his hair, when he felt her hands on him again, pulling him down to his knees to join her on the bed.

  They knelt across from each other, Laina reaching out to explore his chest. Her fingers worked over the blond hair scattered there, the effect driving Logan crazy, leaving trails of heat wherever she’d grazed him. He reached for her, devouring her mouth with his, wrapping her into his arms and inviting her down into the softness of the luxurious bedding. She smelled like lemongrass and rainwater, and her skin tingled in response to the touch of his hands on her back. They played together like that for a while, neither of them in a great hurry for anything more. Logan had never known kissing to be so damned erotic.

  Finally, it was unclear how much time had passed, but the storm gave way to the quiet patter of intermittent raindrops filtering down through the treetops before stopping altogether. Logan pulled Laina in to him, resting her head in the crook of his arm, his other hand caressing her shoulder. She let her thumb brush back and forth against his soft facial hair, content to lay with him that way.

  “For the record, I think what you offered to do for the ladies is incredible. I was speechless when you said it, so I’m sorry if it came off as dismissive.” She propped up on her elbow, resting her head on her hand, straining to see his face in the darkness. “I’ve never known anyone quite like you, Logan. You’ll have to forgive me while I try to figure this all out. I didn’t see you coming.”

  Logan smiled, knowing she could feel his expression against the palm of her hand. “I wish I could say the same, but honestly, I’ve been unable to get you off my mind since last summer when India introduced us. I thought you weren’t interested, until Willow and Garrett’s wedding, at least. Was I wrong? Was there a spark between us then, or have I just now finally worn you down with my good looks and charm?”

  Laina stifled a laugh, very aware that the other tents weren’t that far away. “You’re not wrong. I did feel a little bad for making you think that Van and I were a couple that night. But then you and Kiera . . .”

  Logan put his finger over her lips. “Please, I had eyes for only one woman that night, and it was you. I only took Kiera up on her invitation the next evening at Ajax because I’d felt bad for using her to make you jealous.”

  Laina sat up, indignant. “Me, jealous? Did you know I was there when you were kissing her goodbye?”

  Logan answered her in a way that showed Laina that he wasn’t going to be thinking about Kiera or anyone else for a very long time.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  It was cool in the tent when the light started to filter in the next morning. Laina lay still, listening to the sound of Logan’s gentle breathing beside her. She’d woken up with her hand still in his, which had made her smile. They’d lain awake talking for most of the night, when they weren’t completely enraptured with one another. Logan had mustered up some wherewithal and had been about to leave a couple of hours earlier, but Laina persuaded him to stay until daylight, which had arrived too quickly for either of their tastes.

  Laina sat up, grateful she’d pulled Logan’s sweater on in the middle of the night. It smelled like him, and she took a moment to bury her face in the neckline, inhaling his manly scent. The cold front that had rolled through with the storm had produced a crisp morning—so cold, Laina could see her breath puffing out in front of her face as she exhaled. She looked over and watched him sleep for a few moments, still struck by how handsome he was. He seemed so peaceful, she hated to wake him. But they were running out of time. She was reaching over to gently touch his face when his eyes opened.

  “Boo.”

  “Oh my God, Logan! I thought you were sleeping!” She swatted at him playfully as he wrapped her in his arms and pulled her back down into the tangle of bedsheets, nuzzling his face into the side of her neck. “It’s almost five. The sun’s going to rise in a few minutes. We agreed you’d evacuate before anyone else wakes up. Don’t you want to protect my virtue?”

  “Not really.” Logan sighed. “But I guess it’s the right thing to do.” He kissed her one last time, his lips even softer than she remembered, before he sat up and threw the covers aside.

  “Oh, pretty chilly up in here this morning, huh? Don’t suppose you’d be a lamb and give me that sweater back? Or do I have to do the walk of shame across the campsite in my underwear?”

  Laina considered the idea for a moment. She wouldn’t mind seeing him in those bike shorts again, but she didn’t want the man to freeze to death. “Turn around, and I’ll take it off.”

  Logan protested, but only for a moment, turning to face the other way.

  When he did, Laina slid the sweater up over her head, then tossed it to him. She scrambled to find her own sweatshirt, throwing it on over a sports bra. When they’d each managed to pull on some jeans, Logan asked her for permission to turn back around.

  She had already walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Permission granted.”

  He turned around, amazed again by Laina’s beauty. Not many women could climb into a tent after running through a driving rainstorm, go to sleep with wet hair, and wake up looking incredible, but somehow, she’d managed it.

  They nuzzled together for a few moments, whispers exchanged in between kisses, each of them reluctant to break the spell.

  “I’d better go.” Logan stepped away from her, still holding her hands in his. “Last night was so much fun. Really. You’re such an amazing person, Laina. I’m grateful you’re giving me a chance.”

  Laina stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him one more time. OK, two more times. Two-ish. “Yeah, I guess this means it’s official. We can give this a try and see what happens. But can I ask you something, Logan?”

  She looked up at him, her hazel eyes clear and earnest. He’d decided that her eyes were hazel, after all. Not just brown or green. The perfect combination of the two colors. He wouldn’t have been able to refuse her anything in that moment.

  “Of course, name it.”

  “Are you willing to take this slow? I mean, I realize we kind of put the cart before the horse with this little sleepover of ours, but it was innocent enough, right?” She blushed at the memory of a few of the evening’s moments that were decidedly not innocent.

  The look on Logan’s face seconded those memories. Their lips joined together again, like two magnets unwilling to part.

  Logan spent most of the next five minutes making sure he’d explored every inch of her mouth and neck. Finally, he stepped back and got a grip. “Laina, I’m not going to blow this. If it’s slow you want, I can give a turtle a run for its money.”

  The look on her face was doubtful, but he persisted.

  “I know that might be hard for you to believe right now.” He punctuated the thought with another kiss, this one more tender and chaste. “But I’ll dig deep.” He wondered how discreet she wanted to be, though. “Hey, are you OK with our friends knowing that we’ve decided to date? I want to make sure I play this right.”

  Another kiss, this time from her, and Logan had his answer. Laina wondered if she’d ever get sick of making out with him. He was really, really, really good at it.

  They finally managed to separate from each other, and Logan stepped out of her tent, zipping it closed behind himself. He was turning to make his way down to the lake to take care of
his morning business when he heard Buck’s voice behind him.

  “Well, well, what have we here? Did you lose your way in the woods, son?” Logan turned to see his old friend smiling, standing by the fire and tending a frying pan full of sizzling bacon.

  Logan put his finger up to his lips, walking back toward the fire. “Who are you, the town crier? How about a little discretion among friends? Besides, you failed to mention you’d be back before sunrise.”

  Buck had led the trail ride the day before, as promised, so he’d been there to see Logan and Laina splashing around together in the lake. He knew his young friend was smitten. But Buck had begged off on staying for dinner, making an excuse that he had to get back to his place for the evening with the promise to return in time to cook breakfast today. And here he was, with a second equally fragrant pan of Toad in the Hole cooking beside the bacon.

  “What was so important you couldn’t join us for dinner last night, Buck? Everything OK with the horses?” Logan was fixing himself a cup of the coffee Buck had brought back in two large thermoses.

  “Oh, everything’s fine. Actually, since we’re keeping each other’s secrets: I had a date last night. With a woman I met this spring. We’ve been seeing each other quietly, because she’s a little on the shy side. Moved to town a few months ago from back east, and she’s a real beauty. I’ve told her a lot about you and the ranch, and she’s been dying to see it. So I figured last night was the perfect time to show her around without getting in your business. I hope that’s OK with you?”